Things People Don't Tell You About Friendships

Friendship is quite a complex word.  To each of us it might mean something a little different.  Each individual friendship has many different components and no two friendships are ever 100% identical. I think the basis of true long lasting friendships would have to be loyalty, communication, and flexibility.  Granted I'm not an expert, but in my almost twenty three years on the planet these things have proven to be the base of my forever friendships. Loyalty is important because nobody wants a friend who they can't trust. I always say with any relationship without trust you have nothing, and friendship definitely is included in this circle of trust. Communication is crucial in any relationship because you need to be able to communicate how you're feeling, advice, etc.  Poor communication can literally destroy a friendship.  Last but not least is flexibility.  Surprise, you are not going to be able to live five minutes away from your friends for the rest of your life.  Cue the flexibility. You're going to have to be flexible about finding times to visit one another, chat on the phone, and even be patient as you go through different hurdles of life. 

I'm sure we've all had those friendships that we thought would last forever, but sadly they fizzled out. It's hard to let go of all the memories you had with some people, but there is always a lesson to be learned from every failed friendship.  Over the years, I've learned a lot about friendships..some of these things are what people don't really tell you about friendship. 

Friendships are like plants. They all require a different type of care.

You're going to have to figure out what your friends' expectations are and how you can meet them so that it works for both of you.  Some friends are needier than others. 

When friendships breakup it hurts, regardless of whether it's a slow fade or a hard break off. Sometimes it can hurt just as bad as when a romance ends. 

Some friends you instantly connect with and things move fast. You claim that the two of you are instant BFFS, but sometimes things happen and the forever in BFF is taken away. It could be drama related, distance, or maybe you just don't have many commonalities anymore. When you're close to someone and then they are gone, it can hurt.

You might outgrow some friends, and in turn some friends might outgrow you.

People come in and out of our lives for many reasons.  As humans we change throughout life, and sometimes we have to drop friendships that just haven't changed with us. 

At some point, you might feel a little left out. 

Your friends might make other friends, but always remember if they are forever friends they won't forget you. 

You're not always going to like the person your friends are dating.  Likewise, they might not always like your significant other either.  

You'll have to find the balance of making the attempt to be nice while also looking out for your friend. It's not worth it to end a friendship because you don't like their significant other. 

Sometimes friendships are one-sided.

Friendships should be a two-way street. One person cannot be the only one to make an effort. At some point, you're going to have to end these one-sided friendships because they are just taxing. 

Long distance friendships aren't easy.

As you grow older, your friends are going to move away. You will go from being a short five minute drive away to maybe a few hours plane ride away.  It won't be easy to have your friends across the country. If the friendship means something to you, then you will find a way to make it work.  

Some friends are basically like family. 

If you're lucky, then throughout your life you will find a friend or two who actually become your family.  These are the people who get you the most. The ones that will come with you to your grandparents house for Christmas when you're significant other can't.  The friends that will stay at your house even when you're not there. 

You need to be friends with yourself. 

This sounds corny, but the truth is that sometimes life can be lonely. You need to be able to like and respect yourself when others might not.  

What are the ingredients you put into a high quality friendship?

XOXO

Best Friend Dates

Because what blogger doesn't love a bestie who secretly snaps pictures of her being a foodie?

Winter break is a span of several weeks when college students are able to catch up with their hometown friends.  Once you graduate high school the chances are great that you part ways with your friends. Parting ways can mean two things.  

The first option is that you grow to be different people and realize that your friendship was based on proximity.  College is a time when you tend to discover who you really are and what you want to do.  These discoveries sometimes highlight how different you are from those you were close to prior to leaving, and sometimes it is better to drift apart.  In my experiences the past few years, these are the types of people who you get together with and spend time reminiscing on times you spent together  and then the conversation will quickly come to a halt or turn into gossiping about peers.  When these types of conversations occur every time you see this person, it is a clear sign that this friendship might have only existed due to proximity.  

The second option is that you physically part ways.  Going to college hours apart from the people you spent elementary, middle, and high school with can be challenging.  The distance can be a true test of friendship.  The phrase "out of sight out of mind" comes into play here.  When people go away to school they usually make new friends and sometimes forget about those who they were once close to.  However, the distance does not have to mean a failed friendship. In fact, it can be quite the opposite.  Just because you don't see each other everyday and no longer share the exact same friends nor school doesn't mean that your friendship must end.  With today's technology and a little effort it is quite easy to stay in touch with the friends who mean something to you.  I have a few friends who we are arguably closer now that we don't go to school together, we seem to make more of an effort to check in. 

I have experienced both of the above options in the past few years.  The older I get the more I realize how drifting apart from those who I was close to in high school isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It actually makes me value the friendships I still have with hometown friends even more.  I love coming home to the friends who I can spend hours in a local coffee shop with chatting about times we had together,  learning about the ups and downs they experienced throughout the semester,  listening to the stories they accumulated, gossiping about where everyone from high school is and what they're doing with their lives, imagining what our future will look like X amount of years from now, getting to meet their new friends, and sharing my experiences too.  

This winter break I have been fortunate to do a lot of this. I've gone to several different coffee shops to catch up with friends I haven't seen in awhile. I may or may not have even gone to some of these places multiple times.  

My favorite spot at home is a locally owned place that is known on the Mainline for their handcrafted coffee.They were voted Best Coffee on the Mainline for 2013, 2014, and 2015!  Philter is a small coffee shop located in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania.  They have delicious sandwiches, baked goods, coffee, and tea.  The interior has decor similar to the window of an Anthropologie store. The staff are some of the most friendly people and are definitely coffee connoisseurs, which helps people like me who are indecisive.  

During the second week of break I was able to catch up with my best friend, Maddie, at Philter.  Maddie has been my best friend since we were in fourth grade.  We met during softball tryouts and coincidentally hated each other immediately because we had the same number, played the same position, and both had dogs named Riley.  Looking back it's pretty crazy how our two worlds collided.  After getting over the drama of a ten year, we quickly became friends and after a few play dates we became inseparable.  The two of us have been through a ton of life experiences, both bad and good, together.  Throughout college we have stayed close thanks to FaceTime, texting, Snap Chat, Twitter, Facebook, iMessage on our laptops, etc.  Some semesters we have been better at staying in touch than others, but regardless of the frequency of our contact our friendship never really changes.  When we hangout we spend hours catching up.  

In December, when we decided that we would meet over coffee, it was a no brainer where we would be going. We ended up spending hours the morning of Christmas Eve chatting over coffee and breakfast.  This semester we were both incredibly busy so we didn't get to talk as much as we would've liked, but I was able to make it up to Penn State for a weekend of fun in September. 

So what did we get to eat and drink?

Since it was rather warm on Christmas eve, we each got iced Coffee with a little cream and sugar added.  The ice cubes they use for their iced drinks are small and perfect for cold beverages.  This iced coffee is my absolute better. It is hands down better than any chain's version of ice coffee that I've ever had. 

Maddie had her usual everything bagel with cream cheese and I had a sandwich.  It was egg with roasted red pepper, spinach, and a little cheese served on a baguette. The combination is my favorite! 

I hope you enjoyed the time you spent with friends this Winter Break!

XOXO

Oh The People You Will Meet & The Places You Will Go

If you told me this time one year ago that I would be spending a weekend at the beach with my roommate,jHg, and her best friend, aTm, I certainly would have been hesitant to agree with you.  It is insane how close you can become with someone in the matter of one year. This weekend I had the opportunity to go to the beach with jHg to stay with her and her friend, at her friend's beach house.  It was such a fun girls weekend! For those of you who follow me, mquiggles3, on instagram have seen the evidence of some of the fun we had. 

Saturday:

We got to the beach late in the morning and it was raining enough for us not to want to be on the beach so we grabbed lunch at the Greene Turtle.  We weren't super hungry, so we each got an appetizer and split them three ways.  We ended up with grilled chicken quesedillas, BBQ chicken flat bread, and buffalo chicken dip. All three dishes were tasty.After lunch the skies cleared up and we got a solid three to four hours of beach time in. 

It is nice to be able to relax on the beach and truly take note of the small things in life.As I was laying out after lunch, I noticed that the clouds looked really neat.  The one I was most fond of had a cute turtle shell-like pattern to it.  

Saturday night we went shopping. The beach we went to has some awesome outlets, and because we went at night they weren't crowded at all.  I have bought a decent amount of Summer clothes over the past month and I really should be saving my money, so I only allowed myself to buy things that I could wear in the Fall.

 I purchased with long sleeve navy and peach striped shirt at jcrew.  They were having a huge 40% off sale, so I couldn't resist.

 At American Eagle I bought this adorable brown three-quarter length flowing shirt with a criss cross back.  I love the color of this shirt, and the criss cross back just gives this shirt so much personality.

After shopping, we decided that we should go some place to eat seafood for dinner. Well at 8:30 on a Saturday night just about every good restaurant has a 45 minute wait for a table of three.

 Once we settled on the place worth waiting for, Big Fish Grille, we sat outside and enjoyed the nice cool weather.

 The restaurant we chose was such a good choice.  The ambiance, service, and food did not disappoint whatsoever.  The tables are covered with white paper, and when you are seated the hostess gives you a jar full of crayons, regardless of your age.  If you look around the nice restaurant it is comical to see that people of all ages are dressed up sitting around the table coloring and chatting with friends and family. I, for one, was not mad about coloring.  Of course, my doodles included our monograms. 

Shout out to jHg- You knew this would make it to the blog

The food is a little pricy, but it is high quality which makes it worth the money without a doubt. I ordered Steak and Shrimp.  My meal included lightly breaded onions on the steak plus two sides. I chose creamed spinach and Big Fish Grille's famous mashers. This meal was delicious! I have nothing but good things to say about this dinner and the restaurant we ate in!

Sunday:

We got up really early Sunday morning, so that we could get some quality beach time in before jHg and aTm would have to leave to beat the traffic home.  I think Sunday is the earliest that I have ever been on the beach, with all my things set up for the day, in my entire life.  We were there, on the beach, by 9:30 a.m.  We beat the lifeguards.

There is just something about the beach early in the morning that is so beautiful.

For lunch we went to Grotto's Pizza right off of the boardwalk.  It was delicious.  I love pizza. We each got our own personal pizza, mine was plain. 

After lunch, we stayed on the beach for another hour, and then it was time to say goodbye.  jHg and aTm headed back to the house to pack and go home, while I met up with my mom to do some shopping and spend some time with her and our family friends on the beach.

While shopping with my mom, she showed me the cutest boutique.  I love shopping with her because she always finds the cutest places, and we always have fun shopping together.  I ended up breaking my shopping rule of only buying Fall clothes.

 I bought navy dress with a cut out back, but it was on sale so that's how I justify it to myself.  

I told my mom, "When you find a cute dress, you just have to buy it!" 

And that is exactly what I did.

This weekend was tons of fun, I hope each of you had a fabulous weekend too!

Xoxo

-mQs-

Saturday's Shenanigans

Kacey Musgraves

 Eli Young Band

 Erich Church

Kenny Chesney

If you haven't guessed it by now, yes I went to the No Shoes Nation Tour in Philadelphia on Saturday. It was the best concert I have been to.  The whole day was a ton of fun.  My best friend, mIr, and I bought these tickets all the way back in December. 

My countdown had been going on for months now.

 I was expecting the day to be fun, but I definitely had more fun than I thought I would.  A lot of my friends from high school were there, so we all tailgated for several hours before the concert.  It was nice to see everyone again.  Not to be creepy, but there was definitely some good people watching on Saturday.  Let me tell you the outfits some of these people wore, were just so interesting to say the least.  

My friend from high school, cMs.

 You can't go to Philly without getting crab fries from Chickie and Pete's

The concert itself was awesome! We had the cheap tickets, sitting high up but it wasn't bad at all.  The performances were all amazing.  Kenny Chesney and Eric Church were my two favorites! 

Saturday was definitely the major kick off to Summer! I was also able to cross off

 #37 Go to a concert 

on my summer bucket list.

xoxo

mQs

p.s: I know I have been really bad about posting lately.  Starting this week  I promise to post daily!

Real Friendships

"True friendship isn't about being inseparable, it's about being separated and nothing changes."

When you go to college a lot of things change.  I have found that people who I was close with in high school I barely talk to anymore.  However, there are others who I have become even closer with.  Going to college everyone makes new friends, and to maintain old friendships while creating new ones can often times be difficult.  It is a true test of who your real friends, from high school, are.  This past weekend I was fortunate to be reunited with two of my best friends.  It was a lot of fun for them to meet the people that they have heard so much about from all my stories, and for my friends at college to meet them.  

jRk and mIr have been my close friends since elementary school.  Sure we have had our ups and downs, but we have been through so much together that our friendship will always be there to rely on when times get tough.  After a stressful week at school, seeing them was just what I needed to refresh myself for a long week of midterms.  These girls define the quote above.  We may go to different schools, but regardless of the distance we will always be there for each other. Also I just want to give them a shout out for following my blog, love you girls!

xoxo

-mQs-